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"Columnist has Disability Scare"

In the past, I've written about my daughter's disability, spina bifida. So I have lots of firsthand experience dealing with a loved one's disability. Twice over the last five years, I have also mentioned my own traumatic brain injury, but have explained that the lingering odds and ends of that injury, which are real, don't technically count as a disability. That's because even though affected, I haven't been "substantially limited" in at least "one major life function" due to the injury, which is the "official" definition.
Recently, I had another brush with disability. Our family physician diagnosed me with Dupuytren's contracture, which is, according to a National Institutes of Health website, a "painless thickening and contracture of tissue beneath the skin on the palm of the hand and fingers."
The website added: "Progressive contracture may result in deformity and loss of function of the hand."
It primarily affects people of northern European ancestry. Most of my ancestors were Scots-Irish, meaning they came from Northern Ireland. Two well-known people having Dupuytren's contracture have been Margaret Thatcher and Ronald Reagan.
Normally, the condition affects men over age 40, and often is linked to epilepsy, pulmonary tuberculosis, alcoholism, diabetes or liver disease. I haven't had any of these risk factors. Surgery could restore normal movement, but also would carry a risk of damaging the nerves and blood vessels. Given my relatively young age, the disease could come back following surgery.
The thought of having this condition hit me especially hard because I earn a living moving my fingers. I write this newspaper column, and magazine articles and books. I first noticed symptoms a couple years ago, when my fourth and fifth fingers on my left hand felt weak. Due to the weakness, I was typing slower and making mistakes. In the freelance writing business, the faster a person types, the more income he or she earns.
Three months ago, I noticed a hard nodule on my left palm, and later, a depression, between the fourth and fifth fingers. Typing became slightly more difficult.
In the days after the diagnosis, honestly, I just flat-out panicked. I was face-to-face with the reality of one day possibly being "substantially limited" in my livelihood due to a disability, a feeling not unlike one I often hear expressed in people I interview for this column. I now can identify with them.
Contact danieljvance.com [Blue Valley Sod and Palmer Bus Service grants make this column possible.]

What are the Residency Requirements for Ohio Guardians?

At some point in our lives, many of us will know a minor or an adult who may need a guardian because of age or disability.  When considering who might serve as guardian, it is important to understand Ohio's residency requirements.
Q.: If I want to serve as a guardian for an Ohio resident, must I also live in Ohio?
A.: Generally, yes.  This general rule recognizes that it is harder to be effective as a guardian if you live far from your ward (that is, the person being served through the guardianship). 
Q.: I live in New York, and my brother, who is an Ohio resident, wants to name me as guardian for his young children.  Is this possible?
A.: Yes.  There are exceptions to the general rule for (1) parents who name guardians for their children (such as minor children or adult children who are incompetent), or (2) individuals who name guardians for themselves.  Parents and individuals can nominate a guardian in a durable power of attorney document, or in another written document, including a will, that meets certain specific legal requirements. 
Q.: Why does Ohio law allow these exceptions?
A.: Ohio law respects the right of parents to choose a guardian for their children who are unable to take care of themselves, no matter where the guardian lives.  Ohio law also respects the right of a competent adult to choose his or her own guardian in the event that such care becomes necessary.  In addition, the law allows a minor over the age of 14 to select his or her own guardian, even if that guardian lives in another county or state.
Q.: Does Ohio law also have a general rule about requiring a guardian to live in the same county as the ward?
A.: Yes.  However, because our society is increasingly mobile, there are many exceptions to that rule. Courts are given much more freedom to appoint a guardian who is not a county resident as long as the guardian is a resident of the state.
Q.: I agreed to serve as a guardian for an Ohio resident, but now I have to move out of the state.  Will the court remove me as guardian and appoint an Ohio resident instead?
A.: While the law does not require a court to remove a guardian who is no longer a resident of the state, the court may do so if such a change is determined to be in the ward's best interest.
Q.: I am not an Ohio resident, but I would like to apply to be appointed as guardian of someone who lives in Ohio.  Can I do this?
A.: No, not unless you have been nominated under one of the exceptions described above.
Q.: I live in Ohio, and would like to serve as a guardian for a friend who is also an Ohio resident.  Do I need some official authority to do this?
A.: Yes.  Parents are considered to be the natural guardians of their minor children, but all other guardians must be appointed by a probate court.  Letters of Guardianship are the official badge of authority for the guardian.
Q.: What can be done if a guardianship is challenged because a named guardian lives out of the state or county?
A.: Parents of minors and aging individuals can name a local person to serve alternately as co-guardian with a named guardian who lives outside the jurisdiction of the local courts.  If there are no local relatives, friends or support persons who qualify, the alternate co-guardian can be a local attorney.

Laura on Life

Year 2500 -
"What do you suppose it means, Cantseft?"
"I don't know, Levneed. Are you sure we landed on Mars?"
"Absolutely. This is the Red Planet; fourth planet from the Sun. The same planet we've been trying to get back to explore for five hundred years."
"It's unfortunate that our planet has had so many other things to worry about that we haven't sent a space team here in all that time."
"But I thought there was no life on Mars."
"As far as we know, there wasn't. But this…this could change everything."
Year 2008 -
My eleven year old son has become obsessed with the idea of life on planet Mars. He has decided that when the Earth is destroyed by its inhabitants, there should be another place to go. Certainly, we've probably got some time to find a place, but he's decided that nobody is trying hard enough and that by the time we need an alternative living space, it may be too late.
My son has designated himself as the go-to person for this project and Mars is the planet he has chosen for our safe haven.
The first thing on his agenda is to grow some plants on Mars to make the oxygen that we need to breathe.
After reading that Mars soil has no nutrients for plants to grow, he experimented with several different additives and seeds. Of course, an eleven-year old would choose, first, the additives that he would like to eat if he were a plant, which, of course, he's not.
In various egg cartons placed around his room he combined sunflower seeds in marshmallow Fluff, green beans in peanut butter, and an apple seed in chicken noodle soup. After the soup began to turn and the Fluff attracted ants, he concluded that maybe he should not start with seeds.
He read that nitrogen was needed to grow plants and wondered where he could get that on Mars. His older brother told him that nitrogen was found in animal waste.
"So all we need to do is put some animals on Mars that poop a lot!", he enthused.
Gently, so as not to burst his nitrogen bubble, I said, "Yeah, but…animals need oxygen."
"Oh yeah… And plants make oxygen; and you can't have plants without nitrogen; and you get nitrogen from poop. Oh poop!"
Later that week, he came to me and asked for a light bulb.
"Why? Is your light out?"
No, my little scientist told me. He figured that he needed to build a small-scale model of a Martian landscape complete with the correct composition of Martian atmosphere.
"What's that got to do with light bulbs?" I asked, thinking he was intending to imitate the Sun.
Apparently, Mar's atmosphere has argon in it and he has learned that light bulbs have argon in them. So he intended to break some light bulbs into a mayonnaise jar filled with dirt dyed with red Easter egg coloring and a popcorn kernel. I refused to ask what he would use for the nitrogen. All I could imagine was my son following my cat around with that mayonnaise jar.
Instead, I asked him if he was aware that the freezing temperatures on Mars would probably prevent any plant growth.
Later that day, I found the mayonnaise jar in my freezer. It stayed there for four months, at which time he decided that simply sticking a tulip from my silk flower arrangement into the dirt in the mayonnaise jar was the easiest way to get plants on Mars.
Year 2500 -
"So Levneed, do you think we were wrong all along? This clearly shows that there is life on Mars after all."
But, Cantseft… a tulip?"
You can reach Laura at lsnyder@lauraonlife.com Or visit her website www.lauraonlife.com for more columns and info about her books.