Index: Pages/ Home, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17

"Caring for her Mother"
By Daniel J. Vance

Until recently, "Toni" was a reader of this column in a weekly newspaper south of the Mason-Dixon line. She now resides in southeastern South Carolina. For privacy and possibly security reasons, Toni decided not to identify herself.
Her 90-year-old mother, "Lourine," had a "mini" stroke a few months ago, has arthritis in her left hip, and has short-term memory issues.
"Forgetfulness probably isn't listed officially as a disability, but when you can't remember to take your medication and that leads to other health problems, it's certainly a form of disability," wrote 59-year-old Toni in an email. "My mother doesn't get around well, and has to rely on a cane around the house or a wheelchair when shopping. And she loves to shop."
In order to care for her aging mother, Toni and her husband had to make a number of tough decisions. For one, her husband is "back home" in another Southern state, she said. They decided that quitting their jobs would have been too risky for both of them to do simultaneously without having other good-paying jobs waiting in South Carolina. So, at least for now, they have to live separate lives.
She said, "I had to leave my husband (though we stay in close contact), and leave close friends, family members, pets, a well-paid position, and the home I love. But I would do it again in a heart beat."
She has great admiration for her mother, who Toni described as forgiving, fun-loving, and possessing the ability to laugh at herself. She also said her mother was generous to a fault at times, and loved her family immensely.
"(My mother) has been my anchor for long as I can remember," she said. "The thought of not having her around terrifies me. I'm not what people would call a 'mama's girl', but no longer having her with me in this life will definitely leave me feeling at loose ends."
As advice for people considering caring for an aging parent, she said, "Think long and hard about the sacrifices involved. It will take both emotional and physical strength, the ability to forgive yourself when your patience wears thin, and definitely a sense of humor. If you decide to do it, remember to take time for yourself, even if that means just going to another room and shutting the door."
Contact danieljvance.com [Blue Valley Sod and Palmer Bus Service grants make this column possible.]

Uniform Mediation Act
Affects Dispute Resolution

Q.: What is the Uniform Mediation Act?
A.: Ohio's Uniform Mediation Act (UMA), which became effective in 2005, affects many types of mediation and is designed to provide for a uniform set of legal rules regarding mediation practices from state to state. The UMA can be found in chapter 2710 of the Ohio Revised Code, sections 2701.01 to 2710.10.
Q.: Why should I be concerned about the UMA?
A.: Mediation is being used more and more, both in and out of Ohio's courts, and it is likely that even more disputes and cases will be mediated in the future. Knowing how the UMA affects mediation will be increasingly important for those who are participating in mediation.
Q.: What types of mediation are covered by the UMA?
A.: The UMA defines mediation broadly as any process where a third party neutral helps the disputing parties negotiate better. What is not covered by the UMA are collective bargaining in the labor field, school peer mediations, labor dispute mediations, court settlement conferences conducted by a judicial officer (judge or magistrate) who might make a ruling in the case, or mediations in a correctional institution for youths.
Q.: Who can be a mediator under the UMA?
A.: As defined in the UMA, a mediator is anyone who conducts a mediation. A mediator does not have to have special credentials or a license, but a mediator must be impartial.
Q.: In essence, what does the UMA do?
A.: The primary purpose of the UMA is to protect the private and confidential nature of discussions before, during, and after a mediation. This is important because, when people don't talk openly with the mediator and each other, the chances of a successful settlement drop. The UMA protects the privacy of the mediation discussions, and thus helps everyone reach a mutually beneficial resolution.
Q.: How does the UMA protect the privacy of talks in a mediation?
A.: The UMA creates a legal privilege for "mediation communication" (any statement made before, during, or after a mediation). A "privilege" is the legal ability of one person to block another person's testimony from being introduced in a later court proceeding. The mediator, all parties, and any other people present at the mediation (such as attorneys) have a privilege in varying degrees under the UMA to stop other people from revealing what was said at a mediation.
Q.: Can a person give up the protection of the UMA?
A.: Yes, a person can waive or give up his or her mediation privilege.   It is important to remember, however, that all parties to a mediation are protected by the UMA.  Even if all but one party involved in the mediation have given up the privilege, that one party still may choose to use the privilege to block certain testimony.
Q.: Is everything said in a mediation protected by the legal privilege in the UMA?
A.: No, certain topics or types of statements are legally excluded.  For example, discussion regarding abuse of children or the elderly, crimes or threats of violence, and materials subject to public records laws, and signed settlement agreements are not protected from disclosure by the legal privilege provided under the UMA.
Also, the UMA does not stop or limit communications outside of court to third parties. If someone is concerned about protecting personal information or trade secrets, for instance, the parties can enter into a confidentiality agreement before a mediation starts.
Q.: What can a mediator tell a judge if the case is in court?
A.: A mediator cannot tell a judge much at all. The UMA limits a mediator to telling a judge  the following: whether or not the mediation occurred, who attended, and whether or not the case was settled. Beyond those points, a mediator cannot report, analyze, evaluate, or make findings or recommendations to a court or judge.
Q.: Does a mediator have any obligations under the UMA?
A.: Yes. A mediator must look into and reveal any potential conflicts of interest that might affect his or her impartiality, and, if asked, must disclose his or her qualifications as a mediator.
Q.: Where can I learn more about the UMA?
A.: The Internet has many resources on the UMA in Ohio. You can read the full text of the UMA at http://codes.ohio.gov/orc/2710. The Ohio Commission on Dispute Resolution and Conflict Management has material on the UMA at http://disputeresolution.ohio.gov/cc/confidentialitystatute.htm. The Ohio Supreme Court has information on the UMA at http://www.sconet.state.oh.us/dispute_resolution/resources/uma/default.asp. 

My oldest son, who will be 25 this year, works as a biologist at a certain high-profile governmental agency. If I told you which one, I'd have to kill you.
His job has always been a big mystery to me. I don't even know how to pronounce half the topics he talks about, much less converse with him about them in a semi-intelligent manner.
It must be very difficult for him to be surrounded by idiots. The only people who can hold an intelligent conversation with him about his work are those he works with.
I like to ask him, "So what are you doing at work lately?" just to see what he'll say. Sometimes, I'm almost sure he's making it up. Who could possibly use all those huge words on a daily basis without getting a cramp in their tongue?
Like any good mom, I really, truly want to know what he does at work. So, I have two choices. I can listen as intently as possible for a recognizable word or two to pass through his lips and patch them all together to come up with something that makes sense to me. Or I can wait till my eyes glaze over, and then embarrass myself by asking him to "run that by me again, in English, using very small words."
Knowing of my complete lack of aptitude for anything scientific, my son will sometimes censor himself without the necessity for me to embarrass myself. What a good son!
"What magnificent project are you working on this week, son?"
"I'm researching the same thing I was researching last time we talked, mom."
"You mean you're not done yet?"
"No, not yet."
"Well, son, if you don't hurry up and finish, your boss is going to fire you."
"Mom, it'll take years to research the effects of these substances on lab mice…and my boss is well aware of that fact."
"Lab mice? Why are mice getting all the attention? Why don't you research something that will help humans?"
That's when he gives me an exasperated look and starts speaking in a foreign language again.
"Well, we discombobulate the lab mice and take a corpustual reading for any signs of antidisestablishmentarianism, then…"
"Oh, just hit me with a two-by-four, will you? It'll be faster!"
He relents. "So are you going strawberry picking this year, mom?"
Ah, a subject I know! "Yes! As a matter of fact, the strawberries will be coming in early this year and they'll be sweeter. That means we don't have to add as much sugar. Too much sugar isn't good for us, you know. I've got a new recipe for shortbread that I just…"
…I watch as his eyes glaze over.

Senior BFA Show at the McDonough Museum of Art

The McDonough Museum of Art, on the campus of Youngstown State University will open the Graduating BFA Show, an exhibition of work by students graduating in the Spring semester from the Department of Art at YSU. An opening reception for the artists will be held on Friday evening, May 2 from 6-8 p.m. The exhibit will remain on view in the galleries at the McDonough Museum until May 17.
Traditionally, at the end of the fall and spring semesters, the McDonough Museum honors seniors graduating from the Department of Art at YSU with an exhibition of their work. This current exhibit will feature the artwork of twelve students and includes various media such as painting, sculpture, installation, photography, graphic design, and digital animation. Students included in the exhibition are Johanna George, Jay Gordan, Justin Haines, Kristeen Martin, Chuck Perfulla, John Petruzzi, Kristina Smith, Scott Tammaro, Vincent James Valario II, Amanda Vislosky, Dean M. Wood and Joseph Zappa.
Hours at the McDonough Museum of Art are Tuesday-Saturday 11 a.m.-4 p.m. with extended hours on Wednesday evening until 8 p.m. The Museum is open to the public and admission is free. For additional information please call 330-941-1400.